Heavy, heavy heart

I've started another blog for my church in Phoenix (Mesa to be exact) - Chrio Communities, that is specifically about Nueva Esperanza, other centers in Honduras and hope. I'm still figuring out how to mesh the two blogs but right now it's just kind of confusing! In the meantime, I have a sad update on Richar on the other blog. Here is the address! http://nuevaesperanza.chrioliving.com/

Just a quick update

Thanks to a Facebook post from my cousin-in-law Tina I realized that I really need to update Maria Yesenia's status. We're still waiting. =( When I was at the center last Monday, Sean and I met with the Director and social worker to work out something that we could do for her. The Director called the parent and he said that he would come on Tuesday of this week by 8:30am. He lives in Gracias (I believe I said Copan in my last blog) and that's a 9 hour bus ride from San Pedro. But, if she saw the doctor on Tuesday then she most likely could see the cardiologist on Wednesday (the only day of the week he sees these patients.) So, we had everything arranged again. I was going to go get them in the morning, take them to the doctor and then German graciously volunteered to take them back so I didn't have to drive to San Pedro twice in one day. I asked the Director to call me when he arrived and then I would hit the road. We waited, and waited, and waited. He never came. Never called. He still hasn't come and it's Thursday. I understand that it's a long uncomfortable bus ride, but his daughter is so, so sick. I don't understand why he didn't even contact us to tell us what's going on. And what's even worse is that Sean and I are going to the States next week. So that means she'll be waiting for at least another week and a half before she can see the doctor. Honestly, I'm feeling really helpless in this situation. I'm usually pretty good about being able to offer someone assistance and if they don't take it, and it ends up hurting them, I understand that this was their choice. But this is so hard because Maria Yesenia isn't being given a choice. Her choices are being made for her and they are very bad ones. Ugh. Keep praying. Pray that another route would open up for her next week and that someone else will be able to fill in the gap with Sean and I gone.

I really hope that I have better news about this next time!

Quick Richar update as well... Sean and I finally got permission to volunteer and I got to see him last Wednesday. I was so so excited. I had met with the Director of Pronino in the morning and he gave me the ok to start volunteering... on Monday. But it was killing me to wait til Monday so I got permission from the Street Outreach worker to go that day. =) When I arrived no one could find him for a minute and my stomach flip flopped thinking he had run away. Nope, they found him on some steps reading a very outdated encyclopedia in English. Well, ok, not reading, looking at pictures. We then sat for the next hour or so with some of the other boys and I translated parts of the encyclopedias for them. You know, like snakes, astronauts, intestines - gross! Roger (the other kid I wrote about in the last blog) found the page about Phoenix and I said "That's where I live in the States!" He then very persistently begged me to point out my house to him. So cute. But unfortunately I just couldn't quite place it. =)

Then on Monday of this week I went for my first volunteer morning. Sean couldn't come because he's in the midst of two really big projects. =( The plan is for me to teach math, because the theory is that math is the same in every language. The thing that I forgot until Monday morning is that I really struggle with numbers in Spanish. So when I asked Salomon what 7x4 is and he said 28, I definitely told him he was wrong. Hmm, this might be a problem. But in general I'm pretty excited about it. There are only 8 kids in class in the morning and I'll be working with them in groups of 1-4 so I think I can handle that! And again, it was good to spend the morning with Richar. Towards the end of the morning when the kids were getting bored and restless some of them started taunting Richar and he made some moves as though to start a fight, but he quickly calmed down. I told him I was proud of him and he asked me some things about elephants. I think thats his way of saying thank you? Maybe.

We're going to Pronino on Saturday to see them one more time before we go to the States for a week, which brings me to my next point of discussion. Both Sean and I will have an extra empty suitcase that we're planning on filling with clothes and toiletries for the boys at Pronino. I'll be in Phila (Ohio) and Sean will be in AZ so if anyone from Arizona or Ohio wants to donate some gently used boys clothes, shoes or toiletries (think pubescent boys without deodorant. They need them some deodorant...) let us know!

He was right outside the gate.

Everything was ready. Today was going to be such a good day. We were going to get a baby the medical attention she desperately needs. German was right outside the gate, talking to the guard. Then we found out that a little piece of paper stating that the government has legal custody doesn't exist. And we had to cancel the appointment.

This is Maria. She is the youngest of a family of 6 six kids currently living in Nueva Esperanza.
When my friends Megan and Debbie were here in July, Megan spent a lot of time with her and quickly noticed that something just wasn't right. Mainly, she was incredibly listless. Had no interest in doing anything.

Megan and Maria

By the second week that Megan was here we were seriously concerned. She had lost a significant amount of weight and could barely hold her head up. When I came back the next week I was happy to hear that she was in the hospital. Perfect! She'll get the help she needs. Two weeks later she was back and looked no better. She was actually worse. So last Friday I decided I really need to do something about this. I went to a malnutrition center in a town near my house to plead her case. They said that as long as she didn't have any other serious illnesses (that they aren't equipped to treat) then she could come. I just needed to get her medical records sent over there. In my mind this was all going to be taken care of by Monday. To make a long story short, I found out that she has bronchitis and may have a heart problem, but she has been waiting for about 2 months to get in to see a specialist. And in the mean time she is getting skinnier and skinnier. The nutrition center said that they wouldn't take her til she's seen a specialist. (Which is frustrating because they have babies dropped off on their doorstep sometimes and they still start to treat them before they have a diagnosis from a specialist. Why is this case different!)

She referred us to a place called Fundacion Bernabe down the road that has a cardiologist. We went and were warmly received by the Doctor. She said that we had to bring the girl to Bernabe today or Monday to have an initial appointment, then they could refer her to a specialist and be seen on Wednesday. Sean and I have a very full day on Monday so it needed to be today. We were ready to drive to San Pedro (about an hour and a half one way), get the child and an IHNFA worker (chaperone), drive them back to Bernabe, be seen by the doctor, and return them both to San Pedro. It was going to be a whirlwind day, but this child NEEDS some medical attention. Then I realized that one of our co-workers, German was in San Pedro. Perfect! We made arrangements for him to pick up Maria and the worker and bring them here and Sean and I would take it from there. Except there was a glitch. Bernabe needs a copy of the paper that says that IHNFA has custody of Maria. But Maria and her siblings aren't in Nueva Esperanza because they've been orphaned, abandoned or abused. They are here because they have a very loving father who unfortunately cannot provide for them financially. So it's essentially like the government is babysitting them for a while. So they don't have legal custody, and the father lives in a town 3 hours away from San Pedro and even though he'd be happy to give consent, we couldn't get to him in time for him to sign anything. We begged and pleaded with Bernabe to just see her today and we promise we'll get the consent form by the time she sees the specialist on Wednesday. Nope. No consent, no appointment.

So we had to tell German to come back. He was literally on the other side of the gate. He was 100 feet from Maria. He had a vehicle to transport her. But he had to turn around. Because of one piece of paper.

RICHAR HAS BEEN MOVED TO A HAPPY(er) AND SAFE(er) HOME!

It is with great, great excitement that I write this post. Let me give you a little background info leading up to yesterday. After meeting Richar in May I started researching private homes around Honduras. I heard about one called Pronino that is for street kids and supposedly is pretty good. I planned on contacting them about Richar, but then one day Richar was 'singing' a bunch of Michael Jackson songs to me. (Keep in mind that he doesn't speak English, but was singing to me in 'English' which was more like babbling to the tune of "Billie Jean is not my lover". Priceless.) I asked him where he learned these songs (since there is NO music at NE). He said he learned them when he lived in Pronino. (Excuse me???) I asked if he liked it there and he shrugged his shoulders. So I forgot about it.
Then about a month and a half ago a coworker, Sue, emailed me a link to the website. I spent a few hours reading everything I could about it and got angrier and angrier that he was sent away from there. These kids go to school, have a computer lab and are part of an organization that has a goal to "rehabilitate, educate and reintegrate" these kids and provide education so they can have a future. It's not a family, but it's a definite improvement. So, I emailed them and politely asked why they sent him to Nueva. A month later I received a response saying that he wasn't sent away, but ran away in January. They've been looking for him and would love to have him back if Richard wants to return. Two reactions - If it's a great place, why did he run away? BUT I liked that Kevin (street outreach worker from Pronino) was giving Richar the option to come back. Kevin was also very frank with me - this is a place that works with kids taken off the streets. Although it is a nice place, some of the kids can be pretty rough, they're survivors, and fights aren't uncommon. If you read this blog in May, then you know how Richard responds to getting in a fight so there's a good chance he got in a fight, then bolted in his anger. So, Monday I was excited. Tuesday, I was confused about why he would run and if this truly is a good place for him. Wednesday and Thursday I spent worrying about him running away again. Nueva is not a nice place, but at least I know where he is. The streets? Not an ok option. Friday, I decided that Pronino will give him options in life, IF he can stick with it. And he has to be given that opportunity.
On Thursday I went to Nueva to talk to Richar about if he wants to go back. All the boys were watching a movie (a rare treat) so I was having a hard time getting him to focus on our trivial conversation about where he would live while Toy Story was on. =) But in general, he said that yes, he wants to go back and no he won't run away again. (I hope, I hope, I hope!) So, my plan was to visit Pronino Monday morning, then go back to Nueva to talk to him again (without a TV distracting him) to make sure he still had the same answer.
Ok, now I digress for a minute to tell you about another boy. (This is related to Pronino, I promise.) His name is Roger and I called him mi payaso (my clown). One day in early July I went to Nueva and he wasn't there. I asked where he was and the employees told me he ran away. I asked where to and they said to the street. Gulp. So for the next month, every time we were in San Pedro I was constantly scanning the corners where street kids beg or wash your windows for a little money trying to find him. I was so worried about him. How can a silly kid survive on the street? Last week after I received the email from Pronino about Richar I spent some time looking at their website again. Kevin has a blog and I went to it to look for pictures of any kids that I recognized. This is the story I found: www.pronino.org/page14201948.aspx. It's a story about 3 brothers in Pronino. One ran away in June of last year and they couldn't find him. They tried one last time at the end of July and found him. Then I saw the picture - the found kid was Roger!! I was so happy he was in a safe place. And this made me even more excited to go to Pronino on Monday.
My understanding of how Pronino works is that when the boys are taken off the streets they spend 3 months to a year in the 'intake' center called Nueva Vida - new life. Many of the boys are addicts so there is a detox process. These kids don't leave the property for school or field trips. When they have proven that they can handle more freedom, the younger boys move to a house called Los Vencedores - the overcomers and the older boys go to Amor y Paz - love and peace. I know there is another center up in the mountains where they learn a trade like welding, electricity, carpentry, etc but I'm not sure what age is in La Montana. So, we arrived at Pronino yesterday morning to find a big field with a handful of buildings. There is a fence, but it's not threatening like the 20 foot concrete walls with barbed wire on top like they have at Nueva. Some of the boys saw us coming and opened the gate for us. Little things started popping out to me. The kids had long hair. (They shave heads at Nueva.) I asked Kevin if everyone shared clothes or if each kid has their own. Each child has their own. We found Roger in Los Vencedores. It was everything I could do to not just immediately grab him up in a huge hug. He recognized that he knew me, but didn't remember my name and or why he knew me, so I thought it would probably be weird for some gringa to squeeze all the air out of him with my hug! I successfully resisted. We continued the tour and Roger tagged along. As we were walking I kept tussling his long hair since I had decided that this wasn't the time or place for bear hugs and had another wonderful realization. His hair was clean! Again, this is not the norm at Nueva.

We got to the classroom in Nueva Vida (intake center) and Kevin cries out "He's here!" I had no idea who he was talking about until the classroom door opened and there was Richar's smiling face! He gave all of us hugs then immediately went back to his seat and kept working on his school work. Kevin talked to him for a minute and Richar said "I'm never ever leaving this place again!" (Oh, I pray that that is true.) We continued on our way so that they could back to class. After a while I asked the question I was the most nervous to hear the answer to: Can we come visit Pronino? Kevin said "Sure!" (Huge sigh of relief) Hmm, but I think it's only on Sundays. . . and only once a month. (Punch in the gut) I quickly tried to explain that we wouldn't be coming just to see Richar. That we would want to be volunteers that would be working with all the boys - seeing Richar would just be bonus. He said, "well, if you can commit to 3 months..." I explained that we do actually have other jobs! He told us to write up a proposal of what we want to do and he'd present it to the director. Pray, pray pray that this works out!

We stayed til Richar was done with class and then talked to him for a few minutes. He was just so happy to be there. And seriously, after 3 days of brushing his teeth (no toothbrushes in Nueva) they are literally whiter. I made him show me his teeth again and exclaimed about how white they are and he dug in his pocket and proudly produced a new toothbrush! AND when he left us to go to lunch he ran to the outside sink and washed his hands first. I know that I'm making a very big deal about some small things but I just love that he's being treated like a human with a future as opposed to an animal in a holding tank. And Pronino has a sponsorship program so we are going to try to find a way to sponsor him at least in part while we're here and then in full when we get home. I know there are going to be many hard days ahead for him, but today I'm just feeling so much joy and hope!

(I really wanted to take a picture of him yesterday. Especially since he was wearing oversized swimming trunks with the Incredible Hulk on them. They may not have fit, but I'm pretty sure he specfically picked those shorts - the kid's obsessed with superheroes! But I would've had to interrupt lunch and since he's new I don't want to draw any more attention to him than is necessary. So next time I'll have a picture of him - probably still in the Incredible Hulk shorts. And a picture of Roger with so much hair!)

Thank you to everyone who has been praying with me for this wonderful child. But don't stop! Don't stop praying for him or the other kids at Nueva. There is still much to do!

Long time no blog...

I can’t believe that it has actually been months since the last time we’ve posted. Those months literally feel like days. Well, maybe more like weeks. Hmm, and months are a combination of weeks so ok, it’s been months! And boy oh boy have we had some full ones! After my last post I wanted to keep everyone constantly updated on the orphanage, but frankly, I think I got into a bit of a rut. I wanted my next post to be in all caps, RICHAR HAS BEEN MOVED TO A HAPPY AND SAFE HOME AND WE HAVE SINGLEHANDEDLY ENDED ALL SUFFERING IN NUEVA ESPERANZA! When that wasn’t how things were unfolding, I didn’t know what to do. And more than anything I just wanted to BE there. I wanted to be hearing the kids’ stories and breaking up fights and teaching them stepping routines and being a consistent person in their lives. But I have many, many other responsibilities. A month or so ago, Sean had a sit down with me in which he said that he knows how much I want to be there but if I really want to make a difference in the lives of these kids I need to form a plan. Ugh, totally right. So, I’ve spent a lot of time since then thinking about how I really need to start coming up with a plan. And thinking about it. And thinking some more. I guess I should actually call it daydreaming because my thoughts were completely without direction!

The jump start that I needed has finally come – I recently gave a tour to a small Heart to Honduras group and one of the guys, Keith, was greatly moved by his experience there. And thankfully, Keith seems to be more of doer than a thinker! The goal is to have groups of Honduran volunteers visiting the orphanage one day every week to teach VBS, play with and get to know the kids. This will hopefully start in September. I visited yesterday with a Pastor from Choloma, Honduras and he and his wife were shocked by the scarcity of resources and the fact that the kids are kept in their rooms for hours during the day instead of being outside playing. Their response was “When can we start?” It’s so encouraging to see a need and immediately know that they want to be part of meeting it. Please pray for us as we talk to other Pastors about getting their church involved in the center. I want to continue bringing groups of North Americans whenever I can but the reality is that these kids need to have some people consistently coming back and forming relationships with them. And that can only happen with Hondurans!

Some photos of recent happenings:

The 2nd week of July brought 2 amazing blessings. Debby Skidmore and Megan Elliot, girls I graduated with from Malone came here for 2 weeks to work with the kids. I've talked to Debby once since graduation - Megan not at all. Megan and I became Facebook friends in June. She read this blog and sent me a message saying "This may be crazy, but I want to come." A month later I was picking her and Debby up from the airport! Totally amazing. We had such a great time reconnecting and serving together. It's amazing how you can lose touch with people for 5 years, then pick right up where you left off. Such a blessing. Debby and Megan - Thank you so much for coming!!!!

Megan with Richar, Jaison and Domingo. At the beginning of their time here I said that they might be surprised by which group of kids grabs their heart the most. When I first came I wanted to work with babies, only. Then these darn boys totally stole my heart and now everything I want to do for Nueva Esperanza is because I know if I help all the kids, these guys will also be helped. Megan made it pretty clear that she was interested in holding babies and she didn't think the same would happen to her. By the end of her time here, here main focus was also the boys. =) You never know what to expect!

Debby with one of her favorites - Elly. Debby was also amazing to me. There are many, many kids in this center with special needs. (Which are going completely unmet.) There are about 10 kids in the nursery ranging in age from 1 to 15 that are severely handicapped and are unable to do anything on their own. Debby had a really hard time with these kids. Their situation just really affected her deeply. And yet, as soon as she got back to the states she emailed asking for more information about two of the kids because they were so on her heart. I just love that instead of being relieved that she was away, she embraced the fact that this made an impact on her life and she wanted to know their stories.

The three of us at Pulhapanzak falls.

Day of the Indian:

July 23rd was the Day of the Indian here in Honduras. It is a celebration of a man named Lempira (now this is the name of Honduran currency). He fought against Spain (I believe!) for Honduras' independence. Or something like that. I'm awful at history. Especially when I'm getting the history lesson in Spanish. But the point is, all the kids at Nueva were little indians on this day. They had a performance, and all the kids dressed up. It was amazing. Isn't she such a beautiful little indian princess? Thanks to Orphan Helpers for making this day happen!

All the kids that weren't in the performance still had special hats and their faces and chests painted. They were so cute!

10 kids performed a cultural dance. It was all very awkward since they are at an age where they are awkward with boys and awkward with their bodies. Which of course, just made the whole thing endearing. =)

Some of the boys that were part of the dance performance. Keep in mind that most of the boys were at least the a foot shorter than the girls. Oh, to be 12 again! Towering over all the boys!!

And now for Richar

Here he is at the Day of the Indian celebration. I wish I could say that so much has happened since our last blog. But, alas, he's still here. After doing lots of research and contacting privately run centers I hit dead end after dead end. The Director told me that if I find him a family in Honduras to live with she'll try to work it out that he can go there. A foster parent sort of situation. So I talked to a Pastor of a large church here in Honduras thinking that surely a family could take him in. The Pastor's response? Taking a boy of that age (his file says he's 10, he says he's 14) is dangerous. Haven't heard anything since. So for now, I'm trying to go as often as possible and am always looking for opportunities to have one on one conversations with him. He has started asking me to take him to live with us in Lake Yojoa. Which breaks my heart a little bit. Especially because I've actually entertained the thought quite seriously. God has a plan for this child. I really want to be part of making it happen!

I really love this picture because it captures him being a silly child. I want him to have a life filled with this! Not fear.

His past is still a complete mystery to me. I know that some of the details from the last blog are wrong. He wasn't separated from his family when trying to get to the US. He was taken from the home when he was 4 because his parents hit him with a belt. When he was 7 he escaped from a center and tried to get to the US via train. But unsuccessfully. He was 'adopted' by a family in Honduras for 3 years, but he can't remember the name of his adopted father, which seems strange. And then recently he told me that when he was a baby he lived in Nueva Esperanza. So nothing really makes sense. And the Director let me see his file. It consisted of the fact that he was male and that they found him wandering the streets when he should have been with his adoptive family. They weren't even sure of his age.

The good news is that the other kids aren't picking on him nearly as much! I've only seen him get angry one time and that was when someone took his spot at the window. And he simmered down pretty quickly. The boys that were such bullies to him before now just sort of ignore him. It's probably been 2 months since he has had a significant bruise or wound, which sadly, is saying something. AND I've never once seen him take advantage of a weaker child. Which for some reason makes me swell with pride. =) It also gives me hope for him. Somehow he's managing to not play the game. At least when I'm around.

I pray that the next time I blog (3 months from now? Ha! Just kidding!) I will have better news about Richar and about all these kids in general!!

A week at the orphanages

In our last post we begged my mother-in-law to come to Honduras and spend a week in San Pedro holding babies in an orphanage. Well, after an incredible and potentially life changing week, Edna and her sister-in-law Deanna left Honduras on Saturday!! Thanks again to you both for coming down here and loving these amazing children.

Before last week, Sean and I had been to the Nueva Esperanza orphanage twice, but only for fairly quick tours. It´s amazing how you start to see the heart of the matter when you spend consecutive days there. The first day and a half we spent nearly all of our time with the babies. There are roughly 25 babies and severly handicapped children in this room. The bottom line is that the workers are taking care of the basic needs of these children and have no time for loving, bonding or cognitive development. We tried to give the kids some much needed one on one attention and cuddle time, along with singing to them and playing games. Potentially my favorite moment was when I was holding a child (probably about 1 year old or a little younger) and I just stared into his eyes and he stared back. He would switch between staring at me and searching my entire face, just taking it all in. Here are some of our favorite pictures.

Sean and Denise. She looks just like a kewpie doll!

I absolutely love this picture. Deanna bought a bunch of baby toys (there were a few stuffed animals, but no toys at the center). This little girl just looked and looked and looked at the new toy. So precious.

This was Sean's cling on all week. She is an adorable little girl, but only smiled a handful of times while we were there. Sean got her to warm up a little, but only after a LOT of loving.

The best part about this picture is the kid in the back. What exactly was going through his mind when we took this picture!










This is Cynthia Gabriella - a.k.a. Princess. If Deanna could adopt, this child would be heading to the States!









Edna and Deanna holding some of the youngest.














This was our all time favorite picture of the week. Edna just gave this little girl's hair a trim. It looks like she's not too sure about her new look. Then we have Cynthia Gabriella in the back with her gigantic eyes thinking Oh, no!!! Am I next???


This is where our time at the orphanage got really hard. I debated on how detailed I should get with this story, but Sean said that I should tell it all, so here goes. This might be hard to read, but I do believe this child deserves for his story to be known. It´s very detailed, but I don´t want to forget a moment of it.










This is Richard.

His sweet smile and the hell that he lives in has really rocked my world. Whenever I let my mind wander, I always come back to him and to what we experienced last week. Tuesday afternoon was the first day that we did much with the older kids at this orphanage. After lunch we bought some watermelon and wanted to give all the kids a piece. As Edna and Deanna were cutting the melons, Sean and I were in the cafeteria with the boys (ages 5-12). It was incredible chaos. I noticed 2 boys fighting and went to break it up. One of the boys was Richard. He was crying and the boy he was fighting with was laughing. I seperated them and tried to get Richard to talk to me, but he was crying too hard. Other boys kept coming up and were pushing him or taunting him as I tried to talk. So I just became his protector during the watermelon ordeal and made sure the kids stayed away from him more or less. Later in the day, I was talking to two girls when another fight broke out. Again, it was Richard, with another boy. The female employee was standing a few feet away doing absolutely nothing. I asked her why she wasn´t doing anything. She said that she doesn´t want to get hit. I asked if I could do something. She said I´d get hit too, but that I could. I grabbed Richard and pulled him away. He struggled for a while, got away from me and ran outside onto the gravel driveway. He then started throwing rocks at people in the building. At this point 4 of the older boys came strutting down the stairs and across the courtyard. I wish that I could describe the way they looked. The image is burned into my brain. You could tell that this was not the first time they have been called upon to take care of Richard and you could tell they reveled in the power they had been given. Each of them grabbed either an arm or a leg and started dragging Richard upstairs to the boys room as he struggled with all his might. I followed closely to make sure they didn´t pull a limb out of its socket or bash his head on the floor. A crowd of boys was following throwing things at him as well. We got to the boys room and I thought they were just going to lock him in there to calm down. Nope. They were going to force him to calm down. They were shoving him against the wall. Pushing him down and sitting on him. Hitting him. At this time we had about 12 other boys in the room joining in on the fun. I couldn´t take it anymore and asked the worker if we could have all the kids leave. As they were all leaving Sean came into the room with me. The worker left with the kids and locked the three of us into the room. Richard was crying and yelling so hard and loudly and he was tearing the cloth covering of one of the mattresses. I held his hands to try and make him stop. He then took his shirt off and proceeded to shred the shirt into tiny pieces. Sobbing and yelling the whole time. Sean and I just sat next to him as he yelled "I want my mommy!" "I don´t want to be here!" "God help me!" After about 30 minutes the worker brought him dinner, but the rest of the boys filed in as well. We sat near him and made sure that no one took his food as he ate. Then he went off by himself and laid down on a bed. It killed me to leave him that night, knowing that there´s a good chance all of this was going to happen again.

I saw him again on Wednesday. We talked for a while. He had two shots that morning and he definitely seemed calmer. I talked to some of the girls about him the day before and they said that Richard doesn´t have friends because he is crazy and he had the devil living inside him. It absolutely kills me that he is growing up believing this. I definitely think that he has many issues, but I did not see a crazy child. I see a child who is DAILY being abused by his peers and has absolutely no power to stop it. He tries to fight back, but he hasn´t hardened himself enough yet to fight ruthlessly and without emotion. Therefore, he is an easy target for these boys who need to constantly prove that they are tough (in hopes that others won´t mess with them.)

During our conversation on Wednesday I also learned more about his story. (I am hoping to go back again on Thursday this week with a truly bilingual person so I can make sure that I fully understood him.) He was born in Veracruz, Mexico. When he was four, his family decided to illegally travel to the States by riding on the tops of trains. This is dangerous for healthy, athletic, 20 something men, much less a family with small children. Click here for more info about the trains. At some point in the trip, he was seperated from his family. The government couldn´t find his family so he spent time in an orphanage in Mexico. Then he was adopted by a Honduran family. They fell on hard economic times and gave him back to the Honduran government. Can you imagine if this is true?? Can you imagine having a poor, but loving family that you are seperated from, then grow up in this absolute hell??? He gave me the full names of his parents, uncle and brother. If anyone has any idea how to go about searching for this family I could really use some guidance.

And now the question for us is what are we going to do? I saved some of the rocks the boys were throwing at Richard because I do not want to forget and go back to life as usual. Have you ever read Lord of the Flies? This is that book brought to life. And we kept being reminded that these are children! On Wednesday, Sean and I were hanging out with them and they were showing us all of their gang signs. One of them reminded me of glasses, so I turned the gang sign upside down with my fingers and made "glasses" over my eyes. The next moment all these tough, violent boys were ALL making sunglasses as well. One person I´ve talked to about this said we need to get this place shut down. But if we shut it down, they are just going to go to some other overcrowded, underfunded place. Also, Sean and I kind of have free reign in that building. The director trusts us and allows us to come whenever we want. I don´t want to have these doors closed on us so that we don´t even have access to the kids at all. So, we are going to be rallying the troops here. We´ll be trying to gather as much information as possible about adoption options, hiring more staff, training the staff, moving some of the boys (Richard!) and babies to other, less overwhelmed locations. I am open to suggestions, information or expertise that any of you may have. Uncle Larry - how do I track down Richard´s parents? EZ - do you know how to find information about immigration/adoption laws in Honduras? And once again, for anyone that has even an inkling of a desire to come down here, there is a need, and no matter what skills you have, they are needed here. And for everyone else - please pray for these children. Pray until you can´t anymore, then keep going. And pray that this stays at the forefront of Sean´s and my mind. We want to move a mountain here, and it´s really easy for doubts to creep in about whether or not that mountain can really be moved.

Orphanages and updates

Hello everyone!
I feel like I have so so much to talk about today, but don't know where to start. So I'm going to start typing and see what happens...
We have had an incredibly full month. Towards the end of February we got to work with the team from Mountain Park Church in Phoenix and got to see Allison! This truly was an incredible team. Every day with them was filled with laughter, but also lots of time for deeper and more serious conversations. And I gained an eccentric senile Aunt Susan! (She told me to think of her like that. I promise.) We were so sad to see them go. The Pastor in El Progresso (city where we worked) is a man of great vision. It's amazing to see all that he's done in his community in about 10 years. His church has grown from 3 members to 500! And he has established a partnership with Compassion International in which about 250 kids are served. We love that we had the opportunity to get to know this Pastor and hope we get to spend a lot more time with him this year. Hopefully his vision and ability to persevere will rub off on us!










Marvellous Mountain Park Members. Hehe.

Then this week we worked with a team from Clarkston, MI in Borboton. The kids in Borboton really blew us away. It was mainly a painting project and usually you want 12 year olds to stay very far away from painting, since they aren't awesome at paying attention to detail. There were definitely some that we had to confiscate their paint brushes, but I was amazed by this group of 5 or so boys that worked hard and well with us throughout the project. I talked with them for a while one day about school. They are all in 6th grade which, for many kids here is the last grade they attend. 4 of them had plans to attend collegio (high school), but one boy already had stopped going to school and had no interest in going back. He said he was going to be a fisherman. Can you imagine?? Being 12 years old and just deciding not to go to school anymore. I told him that in the US you could be put into Juvenile Detention if you don't go to school. His response? I'm not in the US. True, true. The team said a very tearful goodbye yesterday to the people of Borboton. It was really neat to see the relationships that had formed this week regardless of the language barrier. The only downside of the week was that my purse with our camera in it was stolen! The director of the school and the pastor are still investigating the mysterious disappearance, but I fear that it is loooooong gone. =( So the only picture I have from this trip is a link to a picture of Mark from Clarkston and our painting boys. The boy that is not going to school is the 3rd from the left with a striped shirt. I hope sometime this year I'll be able to report that he has changed his mind and gone back! http://www.facebook.com/#!/photo.php?pid=901579&id=1450541440
Speaking of updates - remember the man that came to the medical clinic in January with a chainsaw wound to the leg? Well, I'm very happy to report that his leg is completely healed! A few people visited him thinking that the wound would be infected and he'd need more care - but they said that it had healed well and you could barely even tell that anything had happened. What a blessing!
Now for what has really been on our minds and hearts for the last few weeks. Heart to Honduras has recently made contact with another organization - Orphan Helpers. They work in about 8 different orphanages or juvenile detention centers in Honduras. We were incredibly privileged to receive a tour of 3 facilities in San Pedro. We left there feeling incredibly overwhelmed by the needs that we saw, and yet hopeful for what we could do this year to make a difference in their lives. The first place we visited was a home for teenage girls ages 12-19. Richard told us that about 90% of these girls have been sexually abused. There are currently around a hundred girls sleeping in 2 rooms, 4 girls to a bunk bed. Being a teenager is a time of independence and becoming your own person and to spend it sharing a twin bed with another girl with absolutely no personal belongings (they all share clothes and have no dressers, closets, tubs, anything) just seems awful. Absolutely, they are in a safer place, but not ideal. Orphan Helpers employs 3 teachers at the facility, otherwise the girls would get no education. Walking through there filled me with so much motivation to really buckle down on learning Spanish. To spend the day there just having one on one interaction with these girls would go so far. To be able to talk to them about their dreams and fears, that is reason enough to study Spanish when I don't really feel like it. Looking into the eyes of some of these girls you could just tell they've still got so much fight left in them, they just need some love, some safety and some direction.
Then we went to Nueva Esperanza (New Hope). This is a home for boys and girls ranging in age from newborns to 11 year olds. This one filled us with the most sadness. They are incredibly understaffed. There is a very, very high number of special needs kids in this home, which stretches the few workers they have even thinner. Then we went to the room where they keep all the babies. The youngest one was 9 days old when we were there. Around 26 babies and 2 staff. The babies were relatively clean and fed, which is so good, but are only held when being cleaned or fed, so are severely lacking in emotional warmth and attention. My best friend, Jen, is visiting us next week and we are planning on spending at least half a day just holding babies, singing to them, praying for them. And I'm trying to convince my Mother-in-law to come for a few days or a week and just spend time with them. Come on, Edna, it would be so good for us! =) And seriously, anyone reading this who is moved by their need right now - I will help you figure out how to get down here and where to stay so you can hold these precious souls in your arms. It doesn't take a whole lot of defined skills, just a whole lot of love!

Beautiful babies at the orphanage.

And now for the much anticipated update on our little Chamaco. He's getting bigger!! He has a tendency to flee when we let him out to go to the bathroom. When we first got him, we would chase him down the street and carry him home. Now, that's not so easy. He's pretty heavy!! He is adjusting to the pampered dog life very well. Here are some recent photos....

They were both asleep. Chamaco using Sean's leg as a seat and with his nose and paws shoved between 2 sections of the couch!

Allison playing his favorite game. Chew, chew, chew, Chew. Look at them ears.

This is probably the only time that he has ever been calmly sitting next to one of us while we read. Usually he's trying to lay on the book. A little jealous, perhaps?

Running full speed at me. Ears flopping everywhere!

We brought him with the team one day. He preferred riding on laps as opposed to on the ground.

This one's just so dang cute.